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"Hey shitlord, how are you doing?"
Well, I'm writing another Journal, so I guess I could be better. Though I have to say, there have been some really nice events in the past few days and next weekend there are more to come.
"Than how come you still feel like shit?"
Well, as I was hiking with my parents last weekend, I realized something about me and my current life:
It's not the question "What makes you sad?", but rather the question "What makes you happy?". Because despite all those nice moment I had the past days, I still couldn't help but feel depressed, miserable and bad in general. So maybe it's not that I get sad very often, maybe I AM sad and I only feel good again if something positive happens to me. So far so normal, but it seems that this state of happiness only lasts for a short time and that I return to my now 'normal' state pretty fast. Just that this 'normal' is really draining for me and my nerves. It's just that I can't really seem to get any break. Every day I feel a bit more exhausted and wonder, why I even bother trying to feel positive.
"Stop moaning and do something to make your life worth living again!"
Do something. That's said so easily. I made some changes in my life and opened up to ideas and actions I barred myself from in the past. But in the best cases that only manages to set my mind free for a day or two. But once my daily routine catches up on me everything crumbles back to dust around me.
So the big problem I have to deal with right now is raising my normal niveau to an acceptable level so that I can live a normal life again.
"So why do you waste our time with your lamenting?"
That's a good question. Maybe it makes me feel a bit less empty to write down my thoughts. Maybe it's just a way of running from actually doing something to change anything in my life. Or maybe it's something completely diferent that I haven't even thought about. But whatever the reason, I think I should come to an end now.
Maybe time will help me deal with this problem. But maybe that's just another lame excuse for doing nothing at all.

With best regards
Today is a special day. Not historical, at least I don't think so. It's April 13th. For me, that means two things:
1. It's my birthday. I'm now wandering around this shithole we call earth for 24 years. I don't think that I have accomplished anything in my life so far and to be perfectly honest, I don't think that this will change in the next years to come. So why even bother celebrating that day in the first place?
2. Today it's exactly five months since my breakup. It happened on Friday, November 13th. I'm glad she chose that day, because a) it's Friday the 13th and something horrible like that should happen on a day like this and b) because it's a 13th, the anniversary of this day will ALWAYS be on the same day as my birthday... Thanks (please note sarcasm)
Other than that I don't really have much to say. I've started my new studies last week and I'm still trying to get used to all the new things here.
I guess that's all.

With best regards

deviantID

Nazgul4's Profile Picture
Nazgul4
Sören
Germany
I'm Sören, a German Brony, who likes to draw stuff, build some MOCs, read different kind of books, play games, cosplay and solve the Rubiks Cube.
I'm Co-Host of german Let's Play Channel CloudSaving:
www.youtube.com/user/1992KevN

I'm a caring, justice loving, family type of guy (out of order). Though right now I might be very spiteful. I'm in control in here until... well, I don't know. Let's just say 'for now' and we'll find out where this goes.

...and apparently I have Twitter now:
twitter.com/realnazgul4
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:iconchibilory:
Chibilory Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank You So Much For The +fav !!! 
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:iconchibilory:
Chibilory Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi! :)
Thank You Again For The +fav!!
Blue Heart IconChili Anime Emoji (Snuggy hug) [V2]Blue Heart Icon 
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:icontealeo:
TeaLeo Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Thanks so much for faving!
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:iconrinniekuu:
RinnieKuu Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:!!
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:iconandydatraginpyro:
AndyDatRaginPyro Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Danke for the fave comerade!!
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:iconzeroenderborn:
zeroenderborn Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the fav
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0-0master Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2015  Student Artist
whoah man thx for tha favs!
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Ciel-Spade Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
thanks for the faves!!
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:iconzeroenderborn:
zeroenderborn Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks again for the fav
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Shinta-Girl Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the Watch
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